2013 Indians Fantasy Baseball Preview
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their...
View ArticleDoomsday Prepping for the Closepocalypse
As the Season draws closer, hell, it's basically here tomorrow, the Closer Apocalypse of 2012 is starting to be as ritualistic as a Mayan prediction. So, for those not in the know, it's basically going...
View ArticleHarvey Ballslinger
It's a bittersweet yum-yum fest with Matt Harvey*. *Line borrowed from a teenaged Asian girl's diary. I told you to draft him on every team as a 6th starter. Unfortunately, he was drafted as a number...
View ArticleCloser Look
It's the first week of the season and there is really only one question as we enter the first week of fantasy SAGNOF-ville. What in the name of Brian Boitano are the Tigers doing with the closer...
View ArticleDeep Impact: Hey, Careful Man, There’s A Beverage Here!
Wow, assembling this week's list of players made me dizzy with enthusiasm. No. I'm lying. To help write this post, I have a hired a shadow writer sorta speak. Readership meet my shadow writer -- Vodka....
View ArticleCloser Look
I wish I was a mathematician or at least had one of those rad looking calculator watches. For now I will remain myself and take random, yet seasoned guesses at this thing that we covet so much, the...
View ArticleCloser Look
The week was going swimmingly, with inflatable swim muscles, I may add, then Kevin Gregg showed up and said "Oh, I thought everyone wore these glasses now." I don't trust Kevin for 2 reasons, closers...
View ArticleMother’s Day Sale On Pink Bats
Much respect to the mothers. Without my emergence from my mother's vagina, I wouldn't be able to bestow on you my fantasy baseball 'pertness. We are one people and everyone has popped out of a mother's...
View ArticleCloser Look
I wish I knew what Donnie Baseball was doing, he says what he doesn't mean but means what he doesn't say. I personally think we need to get Rand Paul involved in this and get some filibustering going....
View ArticleSo Wacha Wacha Wacha Want
On this Memorial Day, I'm left thinking about things as American as apple pie and fake-breasted women, but mostly I'm left contemplating how similar Memorial Day sounds to Michael Bay. What better way...
View ArticleDetroit Rick City
They say baseball is a game of inches. When 'they' say that, 'they' are wearing a plaid jacket and flood pants. They also have adult acne. But if baseball really is a game of inches, the Tigers are...
View ArticleTeheran Takes Bats Hostage
Julio Teheran held the Pirates to one hit yesterday with 11 Ks in 8 innings, lowering his ERA to 3.30, making Teheran victorious vs. the Pirates. Which sounds like it was a battle of hostage takers....
View ArticleYou Don’t Know Diddley, Moore
Matt Moore had the line of 5 IP, 8 ER, 13 baserunners, 6 Ks. But he only allowed one walk! What? Like putting frosting on a doodie cupcake? Like eating only cupcakes for three weeks, then pooping into...
View ArticleJosh Johnson Finally Stops Putting The JJ In Vajayjay
Josh Johnson looked solid yesterday (7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks vs. the Rockies). But Colorado away from home can be an easy match-up. Hey, Rockies, try doin' it in the land of Labatt! You've...
View ArticleNat-Gio Left Hanging Like Tribal Boobs
If you found us from Google due to this title, you might want National Geographic or an African safari forum where discussion quickly turns into a story about how 'your old lady doesn't let you watch...
View ArticleTampa Bay R.A.y’d
You wanted to sell R.A. Dickey, but no one was buying. Seeing last year as a fluke. Said he couldn't do it again. Said you had too much fruit in your tapioca for even drafting him. They told you go fly...
View ArticleCloser Report
So at the middle post of the real year, the ever-changing scenarios that are closers continue to fire on. This week I am going to speculate on some popular names that have been bantered about in trade...
View ArticleCloser Report
Friends How many of us have them? Friends Ones we can depend on So it dawned upon me that, in the Whodini song, "Friends", can be replaced by any good word, from your favorite lady parts to my personal...
View ArticleCloser Report
So the All-Star break has come and swept us away and now its onto the last 19/32 of the season. The chase for saves is becoming more and more concrete as the season grows, and the closepocalypse of...
View ArticleJam it or Cram it: Second Half Diamonds in the Ruf
Phew! The fantasy baseball DT’s have finally subsided. It was touch-and-go for a while with many Trainspotting-like moments. Choose life. Choose a job. Choose Razzball. We are 90 games in and while I’m...
View ArticleBud Giving PEDicures
Yesterday, on Fifth Avenue, Bud Selig was seen going into a photo shoot. That photoshoot was for him to be dressed as Uncle Sam for posters that will go up around the country. Under Uncle Bud, it will...
View ArticleNo Cocoa Butter For My Asche-y Needs
I've been mentioning him here and there in the blurb sections of the roundups, but I can't wait until Friday's Buy, or until the offseason when I'm gonna gush over him in a sleeper post. I love Cody...
View ArticleWachavelli States It’s Better To Be Feared Than Loved
Michael Wacha was within an out of a no-hitter yesterday when Zimmerman hit a bouncer to shortstop, which he barely beat out. Ryan Zimmerman doesn't want the world to see joy. He's a joy killer. Every...
View ArticleCobb Treats Yanks Like His Salad
I'd say Alex Cobb was fantastic again last night, but I have to pay David Stern a nickel to use the word fantastic and money is tight, yo. If it wasn't for the ball off his melon, The Tampa Bay Peach...
View ArticleBullpen Report
The first bullpen report of the year is always league-dependent, so read this with a grain of salt. Some of the top-chaps will be and should be rostered in most normal scoring leagues, while some are...
View ArticleBullpen Report
We are going to take a break from the closenado news to bring the middle-reliever news and updates for those of you that are in Holds and NSVH leagues. While it's not as sexy as the closer news that...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Ah, charts with actual stats are so much nicer to look at. The first bullpen report of the year was like reading Playboy in braile, 'cause technically we shouldn't need both hands, but we do. The...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Hey, hey, hey, talking relievers on Thursday. What could be better? Well, maybe ice cream covered in Kate Upton. Actually strike that and flip it. That sounds better. OR exactly the same....
View ArticleEstrada Be Kidding Me
Donaldson pulling a Jeter? Shades of Armando Galarraga on a play at first in a perfect game? John Gibbons looking like he's sucking on a lemon but really he just happened to glimpse Brett Cecil? The...
View ArticleThis Just In, Verlander Not Bad At All
*swirls a glass, takes a gulp. spits it back in a bucket* "That's vintage Justin Verlander," said Kate Upton. "Okay, this might sound gross, but can you spit into my mouth?" That's you getting up...
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