Bud Giving PEDicures
Yesterday, on Fifth Avenue, Bud Selig was seen going into a photo shoot. That photoshoot was for him to be dressed as Uncle Sam for posters that will go up around the country. Under Uncle Bud, it will...
View ArticleNo Cocoa Butter For My Asche-y Needs
I've been mentioning him here and there in the blurb sections of the roundups, but I can't wait until Friday's Buy, or until the offseason when I'm gonna gush over him in a sleeper post. I love Cody...
View ArticleWachavelli States It’s Better To Be Feared Than Loved
Michael Wacha was within an out of a no-hitter yesterday when Zimmerman hit a bouncer to shortstop, which he barely beat out. Ryan Zimmerman doesn't want the world to see joy. He's a joy killer. Every...
View ArticleCobb Treats Yanks Like His Salad
I'd say Alex Cobb was fantastic again last night, but I have to pay David Stern a nickel to use the word fantastic and money is tight, yo. If it wasn't for the ball off his melon, The Tampa Bay Peach...
View ArticleBullpen Report
The first bullpen report of the year is always league-dependent, so read this with a grain of salt. Some of the top-chaps will be and should be rostered in most normal scoring leagues, while some are...
View ArticleBullpen Report
We are going to take a break from the closenado news to bring the middle-reliever news and updates for those of you that are in Holds and NSVH leagues. While it's not as sexy as the closer news that...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Ah, charts with actual stats are so much nicer to look at. The first bullpen report of the year was like reading Playboy in braile, 'cause technically we shouldn't need both hands, but we do. The...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Hey, hey, hey, talking relievers on Thursday. What could be better? Well, maybe ice cream covered in Kate Upton. Actually strike that and flip it. That sounds better. OR exactly the same....
View ArticleEstrada Be Kidding Me
Donaldson pulling a Jeter? Shades of Armando Galarraga on a play at first in a perfect game? John Gibbons looking like he's sucking on a lemon but really he just happened to glimpse Brett Cecil? The...
View ArticleThis Just In, Verlander Not Bad At All
*swirls a glass, takes a gulp. spits it back in a bucket* "That's vintage Justin Verlander," said Kate Upton. "Okay, this might sound gross, but can you spit into my mouth?" That's you getting up...
View Article2013 Indians Fantasy Baseball Preview
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their...
View ArticleDoomsday Prepping for the Closepocalypse
As the Season draws closer, hell, it's basically here tomorrow, the Closer Apocalypse of 2012 is starting to be as ritualistic as a Mayan prediction. So, for those not in the know, it's basically going...
View ArticleHarvey Ballslinger
It's a bittersweet yum-yum fest with Matt Harvey*. *Line borrowed from a teenaged Asian girl's diary. I told you to draft him on every team as a 6th starter. Unfortunately, he was drafted as a number...
View ArticleCloser Look
It's the first week of the season and there is really only one question as we enter the first week of fantasy SAGNOF-ville. What in the name of Brian Boitano are the Tigers doing with the closer...
View ArticleDeep Impact: Hey, Careful Man, There’s A Beverage Here!
Wow, assembling this week's list of players made me dizzy with enthusiasm. No. I'm lying. To help write this post, I have a hired a shadow writer sorta speak. Readership meet my shadow writer -- Vodka....
View ArticleCloser Look
I wish I was a mathematician or at least had one of those rad looking calculator watches. For now I will remain myself and take random, yet seasoned guesses at this thing that we covet so much, the...
View ArticleCloser Look
The week was going swimmingly, with inflatable swim muscles, I may add, then Kevin Gregg showed up and said "Oh, I thought everyone wore these glasses now." I don't trust Kevin for 2 reasons, closers...
View ArticleMother’s Day Sale On Pink Bats
Much respect to the mothers. Without my emergence from my mother's vagina, I wouldn't be able to bestow on you my fantasy baseball 'pertness. We are one people and everyone has popped out of a mother's...
View ArticleCloser Look
I wish I knew what Donnie Baseball was doing, he says what he doesn't mean but means what he doesn't say. I personally think we need to get Rand Paul involved in this and get some filibustering going....
View ArticleSo Wacha Wacha Wacha Want
On this Memorial Day, I'm left thinking about things as American as apple pie and fake-breasted women, but mostly I'm left contemplating how similar Memorial Day sounds to Michael Bay. What better way...
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