Detroit Rick City
They say baseball is a game of inches. When 'they' say that, 'they' are wearing a plaid jacket and flood pants. They also have adult acne. But if baseball really is a game of inches, the Tigers are...
View ArticleTeheran Takes Bats Hostage
Julio Teheran held the Pirates to one hit yesterday with 11 Ks in 8 innings, lowering his ERA to 3.30, making Teheran victorious vs. the Pirates. Which sounds like it was a battle of hostage takers....
View ArticleYou Don’t Know Diddley, Moore
Matt Moore had the line of 5 IP, 8 ER, 13 baserunners, 6 Ks. But he only allowed one walk! What? Like putting frosting on a doodie cupcake? Like eating only cupcakes for three weeks, then pooping into...
View ArticleJosh Johnson Finally Stops Putting The JJ In Vajayjay
Josh Johnson looked solid yesterday (7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks vs. the Rockies). But Colorado away from home can be an easy match-up. Hey, Rockies, try doin' it in the land of Labatt! You've...
View ArticleNat-Gio Left Hanging Like Tribal Boobs
If you found us from Google due to this title, you might want National Geographic or an African safari forum where discussion quickly turns into a story about how 'your old lady doesn't let you watch...
View ArticleTampa Bay R.A.y’d
You wanted to sell R.A. Dickey, but no one was buying. Seeing last year as a fluke. Said he couldn't do it again. Said you had too much fruit in your tapioca for even drafting him. They told you go fly...
View ArticleCloser Report
So at the middle post of the real year, the ever-changing scenarios that are closers continue to fire on. This week I am going to speculate on some popular names that have been bantered about in trade...
View ArticleCloser Report
Friends How many of us have them? Friends Ones we can depend on So it dawned upon me that, in the Whodini song, "Friends", can be replaced by any good word, from your favorite lady parts to my personal...
View ArticleCloser Report
So the All-Star break has come and swept us away and now its onto the last 19/32 of the season. The chase for saves is becoming more and more concrete as the season grows, and the closepocalypse of...
View ArticleJam it or Cram it: Second Half Diamonds in the Ruf
Phew! The fantasy baseball DT’s have finally subsided. It was touch-and-go for a while with many Trainspotting-like moments. Choose life. Choose a job. Choose Razzball. We are 90 games in and while I’m...
View ArticleBud Giving PEDicures
Yesterday, on Fifth Avenue, Bud Selig was seen going into a photo shoot. That photoshoot was for him to be dressed as Uncle Sam for posters that will go up around the country. Under Uncle Bud, it will...
View ArticleNo Cocoa Butter For My Asche-y Needs
I've been mentioning him here and there in the blurb sections of the roundups, but I can't wait until Friday's Buy, or until the offseason when I'm gonna gush over him in a sleeper post. I love Cody...
View ArticleWachavelli States It’s Better To Be Feared Than Loved
Michael Wacha was within an out of a no-hitter yesterday when Zimmerman hit a bouncer to shortstop, which he barely beat out. Ryan Zimmerman doesn't want the world to see joy. He's a joy killer. Every...
View ArticleCobb Treats Yanks Like His Salad
I'd say Alex Cobb was fantastic again last night, but I have to pay David Stern a nickel to use the word fantastic and money is tight, yo. If it wasn't for the ball off his melon, The Tampa Bay Peach...
View ArticleBullpen Report
The first bullpen report of the year is always league-dependent, so read this with a grain of salt. Some of the top-chaps will be and should be rostered in most normal scoring leagues, while some are...
View ArticleBullpen Report
We are going to take a break from the closenado news to bring the middle-reliever news and updates for those of you that are in Holds and NSVH leagues. While it's not as sexy as the closer news that...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Ah, charts with actual stats are so much nicer to look at. The first bullpen report of the year was like reading Playboy in braile, 'cause technically we shouldn't need both hands, but we do. The...
View ArticleBullpen Report
Hey, hey, hey, talking relievers on Thursday. What could be better? Well, maybe ice cream covered in Kate Upton. Actually strike that and flip it. That sounds better. OR exactly the same....
View ArticleEstrada Be Kidding Me
Donaldson pulling a Jeter? Shades of Armando Galarraga on a play at first in a perfect game? John Gibbons looking like he's sucking on a lemon but really he just happened to glimpse Brett Cecil? The...
View ArticleThis Just In, Verlander Not Bad At All
*swirls a glass, takes a gulp. spits it back in a bucket* "That's vintage Justin Verlander," said Kate Upton. "Okay, this might sound gross, but can you spit into my mouth?" That's you getting up...
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